Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
God, I missed his penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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