think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
