I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
