i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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