why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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