Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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