It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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