I wish I only lived at night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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