in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they're like a gay fantastic four
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
