First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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