Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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