We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
