dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
