do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
