I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
