did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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