If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
