Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She needs sedatives and a leash
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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