Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
