Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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