i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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