I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize