Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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