I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
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I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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