your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
