GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
