If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
this is an emotional support booty call
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize