If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
