Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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