I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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