i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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