well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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