Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
