My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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