Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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