That's intense
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
