You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just found puke in my bra..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just shotgunned beers for America
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
