Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
