I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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