i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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