HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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