just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
