I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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