the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
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