saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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