While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
