I met the friendliest cop last night
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
