its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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