I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I could make wine with my vomit
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
