I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have tasted many bathrooms
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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