if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
