The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
