Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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