I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
