mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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