there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
