butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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