i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize