I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
