I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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