just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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